When We Had Shadows
by puddle-of-lemonade
Summary: It has no name, this place they are in. One by one, they come. And one by one, their memories go. DracoHarry, mild RonHermione, Non Magic, AU
1. Everywhere and No Where

**When We Had Shadows**

**( Everywhere and No-Where )**

The wall was crumbling near where they sat, the tumbled stone overgrown with moss and grass. Dappled shadows from the tree overhead fell across them and moved when the leaves did in the wind. A boy swung his feet away from the long grass and their tickling tips, to draw his knees to his chest. He took a bite of a red apple, a crisp crunch, and chewed thoughtfully. His toes curled around the edge of the wall for balance, the cold of the shaded stone seeping into his bare feet as he stared intently off into the distance.

'Do you think there's another one?' the boy finally asked, turning to the red-head at his side.

'The old man wouldn't wake up otherwise, mate.'

The boy shrugged, then flung the core of his finished apple into the grass below and before him. 'I guess. . .' he said carefully, then frowned. 'But he's just _standing_ there.'

'Probably waiting.'

The boy wrapped his arms around his legs and laid his chin on his knees. 'He's been like that for days now.'

'That's why I said he's waiting. Look, if you're going to sit here and complain, then I'll go join the girls.'

An amused smile flittered onto the boy's face. 'You just wanna be near her.'

The red-head blushed, across his freckled cheeks and to the tips of his ears. 'Shut up about that already. I don't like her _that_ way.'

'Actions speak louder than words, my friend,' the boy said, laughing lightly, his green eyes bright. 'Go make eyes at her then, if that's what you want.'

The red head scowled. 'We're just friends. _Friends_.'

'Of course,' was the cheeky reply. 'Then go make eyes at your . . . _friend._'

With a huff, the freckled boy got up and jumped off the wall, landing amongst the knee-high grass. 'Enjoy your whining self, you prat.'

'Oh, I certainly will.'

The boy was smiling when he turned back to stare at the clearing across the field. But, upon seeing two figures instead of one, he stilled. The wind danced with the trees all around him, swaying them back and forth gently, the leaves chattering, as the silence filled him. He watched the two figures, their shapes the only thing he could define from them.

He wasn't sure if he should go up to them. They were always the ones that were found, and not the ones to find. But after waiting a few minutes, he gave into his burning curiosity.

'Guys! They've arrived!' he shouted, cupping his mouth with both hands. From the thick branches of an oak tree, he heard three voices yelling 'coming!' He grinned, then jumped off the wall and ran.

He made a path through the green grass, crushing it underfoot. As the tree line came close, he slowed into a walk, panting slightly. In the darkness of the trees, he saw a boy – a tall blond boy, who stood lost in the sparse undergrowth. His shoulders were hunched, tense.

'Hello,' the green-eyed boy said, stepping under the cover of the trees.

The blond boy's head shot up and his eyes widened. 'What are you doing here, Potter?' He shook his head suddenly, his hands in his hair, clutching his head. 'What? I don't . . .' His shoulders were trembling. 'I don't . . . Who _are_ you?'

'Why did you call me that?' the boy asked. 'My name is Harry. Just Harry.'

'I don't know . . . ' he looked around almost frantically. 'What did he do to me? What did that man do to me?'

'He took your shadow. It's the price of entering this place.'

The blond swung his gaze round to him. 'My shadow?'

Harry nodded. He took the boy's hand in his, leading him into the sunlight, and simply said, 'Look.' On the ground, and all around them, no shadows followed them. There was nothing, no proof beyond their bodies that they were there. It was like their darkness had unchained itself.

Harry looked up, his smile faltering when he saw the tears falling down the boy's face. 'Are you all right?'

'I d-don't know why I'm c-crying,' the blond whispered. 'Sorry. I don't know why.' He stared at the ground as Harry watched the droplets roll off the boy's chin. 'It's gone. My shadow's gone.'

'We're the same then,' Harry said quietly. 'I also don't have a shadow. It's not too bad.'

'Ha, I'm being comforted by Potter,' said the blond, before he froze and clutched his head again. 'Are you sure your name isn't Potter? It is isn't it?'

'Nope, it's Harry. Just Harry.' He gave the boy a quizzical frown. 'What's your name by the way?'

'Dra . . .' he started, then looked down at his feet. 'Dra .. .' He bit his lip.

'It's Draco, isn't it?' Harry asked kindly, placing a hand on the blond's shoulder. The boy immediately tensed, muscles tight and ready for flight. Harry slowly rubbed tiny, calming circles on his skin, to little effect. But he had to do something, if anything.

His question came out in a ragged whisper, 'How did you know?'

'Had a feeling as to what it was,' Harry answered, shrugging. 'Seemed right.'

Draco stared down at the other boy's hand, then brought his gaze up to Harry. The intensity in those grey eyes was almost alarming. 'Why do I feel like I know you?'

'Because you probably did.'

'But why don't I remember you?'

A sigh left Harry's lips. He looked up at the heavy branches above them, seeing the barest patches of light shining in at places. He felt a soft sadness for this boy in front him – there was always pain in loss and even more in forgetting. 'You've lost your memories. Like I have.'

Draco stared at him, stunned. Slowly, after a few moments, he began to shake his head from side to side, his eyes wide and brimming with fresh tears. He mouthed words that Harry couldn't catch over and over, between fast choked breaths.

Harry's grip tightened around the boy's shoulder. 'Draco,' he said firmly, steadily. 'Relax. It's going to happen. It's part of the price you agreed to.' He used his other hand to hold and turn Draco's face towards his. 'I remember being bewildered and angry when I first came here . . . but the reason for those emotions is so faint a memory now. It won't be like this forever – you'll forget that you even forgot.'

'What if I don't want that?'

'You won't remember that want,' Harry said bluntly. He let go of his shoulder and gave him a warm smile. 'It's really not that bad here. If I can be happy here, then you can too.'

Draco rubbed his eyes. He had long fingers. And Harry followed their length, from knuckle to nail, seeing the slight trembles and twitches. His hands were large, but at the same time elegant and almost delicate.

'I don't understand . . .' Draco murmured, tugging loose strands of hair back from his face. 'My head feels like a mess.'

'You'll get used to it, trust me,' Harry offered with a wry grin. At the sound of many, and fast footfalls – he turned in the direction of the field. Three pink-cheeked and waving shapes – one tall and lanky, another bushy-haired and the last unbelievably freckled and red-haired – came rushing towards the two boys.

'And here is the rest,' Harry said brightly. He flashed a smile at Draco. 'Welcome to no-where and everywhere.'


	2. Fading With The Sun

**( Fading With The Sun )**

They showed him the tree first, because it felt like the right thing to do. Draco watched, in a confused daze that made him blink and stumble at times, as they walked along and around him. He felt disconnected as they laughed and smiled, the sound and their expressions not registering in mind.

'Hey, you!' the red-haired girl called Ginny yelled from atop a collection of thick roots of a tree. 'Look-'

'His name is Draco!' interrupted an exasperated, but nevertheless amused voice.

Ginny slipped down onto a lower root. 'Yeah, that one - thanks, Hermione!' She sat down, swinging her legs back and forth excitedly. 'It's just here, blondie-'

'Draco!'

A wide grin filled Ginny's face. 'Okay, okay – I get it, 'Mione.' She pointed to a small hole beneath her, in-between the tangled roots, whispering conspiratorially, 'It's here, our secret base, Mister Blondie.'

Draco found himself smiling, not really sure why. He put it down to facing her enthusiasm and energy. He felt a warm touch on his palm and instantly tensed, nearly jerking away from it before a hand clasped his own. His eyes darted to the person at his side, then relaxed when he saw Harry. The boy was smiling at him again.

'Hey, come on,' he said in his quietly content voice. 'You'll get lost if you don't follow us.'

Draco glanced back at the base of the tree, noticing the girl Hermione disappearing into the roots – her back, then pale legs and bare, dirty feet. He nodded, letting himself be lead forward by a gentle, worn hand.

They navigated their way through the maze of roots, jumping and climbing and balancing. When Draco stubbed his toe at one point, Harry chuckled at the choice swear words that shot out of the blond's mouth as he hopped around, a frown of pain and frustration on his face. When he had mustered his dignity once more, he saw Harry beckon him forward to the entrance Ginny had revealed.

'Now, this is a secret,' Harry said in an attempt at seriousness – but he broke into a grin a moment later. He shrugged a shoulder, looking down. 'Well, as if there _were_ anyone to tell . . .'

'What do you mean?' Draco asked, crouching down next to him. He frowned when Harry didn't look at him. 'Aren't there others?'

'Nope,' Harry replied, avoiding his eyes. He sounded like he didn't know what he was supposed to feel about it. 'We're the only ones. We've searched for miles, but found nothing – no signs of anything. Just forest. Just nature.' He shrugged a shoulder. 'In the end, we came back home – back here. No point in trying to find something that doesn't exist, right?'

Draco said nothing, and Harry didn't wait for an answer. The blond followed the boy down the hole, crawling in the beginning, before it widened in both width and height till they could almost stand. Patches of sunset orange light flooded in through the network of roots, lighting the small, rounded room that was half under the tree, half dug out underground. Covering the floor was dry grass that crunched under their feet, yellow and flattened.

Around a flat stone covered with berries and fruit, sat Ron and Hermione. They were talking and eating, together with Ginny, who was busying herself with collecting an armful of twigs and branches from a pile in a corner.

'We light fires outside, up on the hill,' Harry supplied, then gestured to a heap of fresh grass. 'And that is our glorious bedding.' He smiled a little awkwardly. 'It's not much, I know, but it's the best we could do.'

Draco looked around, then, without his expression changing, he said, 'It's adequate.'

One of Harry's eyebrows rose. 'Adequate?' he shrugged. 'I guess. Certainly better than nothing at all.'

When the sat down, next to the others, Ginny piped up, 'So, Draco, what do you think of our humble abode?'

'It's humble,' he answered, taking a bunch of berries Harry offered. He plucked them off their stalks and popped them into his mouth, nearly jumping when a hand clapped him on the back suddenly.

'Ha, well, at least he's honest!' Ron said with jovial amusement, before he returned to the conversation he was having with Hermione.

'I was being polite,' Draco muttered sullenly. The only one to hear was Harry and he chuckled behind a hand, nearly choking on a piece of fruit in doing so.

'Hey, do you guys want to join us in night-time tree climbing? Ginny found this fantastic tree yesterday,' Hermione said, her look expectant as she got up into a crouch. Her clothes were worn, dirty with mud and soil in places and the material over her knees and elbows were thin and fraying.

Draco felt a pair of eyes on him and turned to Harry, who had a strange expression on his face. After a moment, the green-eyed boy shook his head and gave Hermione an apologetic smile. 'I think we'll pass. Draco's only just arrived and most probably tired. I'll keep him company.'

An urge to protest crept onto Draco's tongue. He frowned, not sure why his whole body wanted him to – there were no reasons to say no to Harry's company. Why would he not want it? He certainly had no desire to be alone. He wasn't sure how'd he react to being alone when nothing in his head made sense anymore.

'Okay, I'll see you guys later!' Harry called out as the three of them crawled out into the night. He heard their excited voices and laughter, listening to it, as it got softer and softer, till there was nothing left but silence.

Behind him, he heard movement. Draco turned and watched Harry as he knelt down and started to spread grass around in the far corner of the room. He sat down in the middle of his creation, cross-legged and sporting a few grass blades in his dark, messy hair.

'Are you hungry?' Harry asked.

Draco shook his head.

'Tired?'

The blond stilled, then said, 'A little.'

'Then come here,' Harry said with a small smile. He patted the grassy ground next to him. 'It's bedtime for us two.'

Draco hovered in hesitation, fingers twitching, foot raised slightly in preparation for movement, in the midst of a feeling of being torn. He pushed his indecision aside and moved over to the boy. Harry lay down on his side, eyes closed, his arm acting as a pillow. Draco stared down at him, then shifted away, his back to the boy, curling into himself for warmth. A sigh sounded behind him, and Draco stiffened when he felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around him.

'It gets cold at night,' he heard Harry whisper. He could feel the boy's forehead rest against his nape, an almost feverish warmth. 'And we make do with what we got. Human blankets are very effective, I'll let you know. That is, if you don't mind a few frozen feet now and then.'

Draco couldn't help but chuckle. He lifted his head and glanced back at Harry. The boy's hair had fallen to the side, parting to show his forehead. The tiny half-smile that had unwittingly come onto Draco's face faded at the sight of a scar – a lightning bolt shaped scar. Draco laid his head down again, snuggling into the crook of his arm to get comfortable. He had a deep, nearly overwhelming feeling of remembrance, of knowledge, of understanding. It felt like it was of the very tip of his tongue.

But the feeling faded away, like a retreating wave.

Sleep took him then.


	3. The Questioning Mind

**( The Questioning Mind )**

As Harry sat down to unload the product of his morning gatherings, he heard a muffled groan from the lone figure amongst the flattened grass bedding. The green-eyed boy smiled, picking fruit after fruit, vegetable after vegetable, from the fold of his shirt.

'Good morning,' Harry said cheerfully as he inspected a tomato, rolling it over in his palm. 'Sleep well?'

As the blond boy sat up, he groaned again, resting his head on his knees. A few blades of grass had wormed themselves into his pale hair, sticking up in places. Harry had the urge to pick each of them out, one by one.

Just as Harry bit into his tomato, Draco reached up to his shoulder with a hand. 'That was not comfortable,' he grumbled out, pressing his fingertips into muscles for some measure of release from the stiffness.

Harry watched him for a moment, then placed the rest of his foodstuffs onto a flat stone. He walked over, then sat down next to him, batting away Draco's hands and let his own take their place. He rubbed the blond's shoulders deftly.

'Don't worry, you get used to sleeping like this,' Harry said, rubbing circles with his thumbs down his back. 'The stiffness goes away after a good walk.'

Draco tried to straighten his back. 'It better.'

Harry chuckled. 'There. Just rub your legs and arms a bit and you're good to go.'

'Thanks,' Draco murmured, rolling his shoulders back, then forward again repeatedly. He glanced over at the pile of food on the stones. 'When did you get in?'

'Just before you woke up. We hiked up to the garden to get some onions and tomatoes.' Harry grabbed a fruit and proffered it to Draco. 'Hungry?'

'Somewhat,' Draco said, running a hand through his hair. He stared at the grass with distaste. 'Where are the others?'

'Still gathering,' Harry said. 'They'll be down in a while. Here.' He threw a tomato to him.

Draco caught it, then held it with both of his hands on his lap. He stared at it, before looking up at Harry. 'How long have you been here?' he asked quietly.

'Don't know really,' Harry replied, shrugging a shoulder. 'We used to keep track of the days – well, Hermione used too, very tenaciously indeed – but now no one bothers. There's too much to do, too much to find and explore.'

'An estimate then?'

'A few months?' He shrugged again. 'Long enough for us to dig out this place certainly.' Harry gestured around the room. 'And time enough for three or four week long trips in search of civilization.'

Draco nodded once, and did so slowly, his face thoughtful. After he bit into his tomato, chewed and swallowed, he asked, 'Were you the first to come here?'

'Nope, Ginny was.' Harry looked down at his hands. 'That's why she remembers the least . . . it's why she's not governed as much as us by our feelings of a past life.' The boy shook his head. 'Anyway, it was Ron next, then me and finally Hermione.'

Draco opened his mouth to say something, but he stilled when he heard voices and laughter from above, from through the roots of the tree they were sheltered by. He turned his gaze to the entrance, just in time to see a head of bushy curls and a wide toothy smile below it.

'We're going to build a raft!' Hermione exclaimed the moment she saw them. There was such surety in her voice that Draco momentarily felt compelled to comply, not to mention startled.

'Oh no,' came a weary, but amused voice from behind the girl. 'Another one of Hermione's projects. We're doomed.'

Hermione glared at Ron over her shoulder. ' Shush, you.'

Ron put a hand to his mouth and whispered loudly, 'Draco, mate, you'll have to get used to her projects. They are many and they are random and she does not rest.'

Hermione laughed merrily at his side, grinning as she fondly said, 'You idiot.'

A silly grin came onto Ron's face. 'Okay, I concede defeat.' He gave a bow, and a few fruits fell out of his bulging pockets. 'My lady.'

They were laughing when Ginny entered. She dumped her load of onions onto the covered ground, sending the pile a glare before she turned to face them, looking none too pleased. 'Come on, let's go to the river already. I smell like _onions_.'

Ron sniggered. 'All right, sis. Just stand downwind from us, okay?'

xXx

On their way to the river, they showed Draco a series of paths they had created. After a bewildering set of pointing fingers and confusing mess of voices and instructions, he decided that he'd figure it all out by himself when he got there. Asking questions came with multiple answers that sometimes contradicted each other. But Draco couldn't really blame them – they were filled with an almost contagious excitement, and there was something about their eyes that made it difficult to tell them that they were repeating themselves or had made no sense all together.

'Are we there yet, Potter?' Draco asked, the words leaving his mouth like a habit. He frowned, feeling a strange ache in his skull.

Harry gave him a side-long look, 'Why do you keep on calling me 'Potter'?'

Draco's frown deepened. 'Because . . . that's you name, or at least part of it.'

'When? Why?'

'I don't . . . know. I can't remember why,' Draco finally admitted, looking up across the fields.

'If you have no reason, then you're just being annoying, frankly. Call me Harry. Just Harry.'

Draco glanced back to the boy at his side, a reluctant apology on his tongue. A feeling in his gut told him that he shouldn't say sorry, that should _never_ say sorry to anyone. But Harry didn't deserve that - none of them did. They had given him a place to sleep, food to eat and company so he wouldn't go insane. And most of all, they had given him answers - of a sort.

But it was better than nothing.

'Sorry,' Draco murmured. He tried to smile at Harry, but he was sure it came out more as a grimace. 'It just comes out sometimes. I'll try to stop it.'

A smile widened on Harry's face. 'That's all I can ask for, I guess. You just arrived after all. Sorry that I snapped at you.'

Draco nodded, not sure how to reply. Ahead of them, Ginny was balancing along a fallen tree trunk, her feet in front of one another and her arms perpendicular to her body – with an over-protective Ron in full big brother mode hovering about below her.

'Who was that man?' Draco asked suddenly. 'The one that took my shadow?'

'We actually don't know,' Harry answered, then paused before finishing, 'For sure, that is.'

'Haven't you asked him yet?' Draco said in disbelief.

'Well,' a strange smile flittered onto the green-eyed boy's face. 'You can try if you want.'

'I'd like to.'

'Oi! Guys! We're going to make a detour!' Harry yelled, taking Draco's hand in his, tugging him off the path and into knee-high grass. The shock of the touch made Draco's hand shake, something that he was sure Harry had noticed, but he didn't want to ponder that. He tried not to think about the warm feeling inside, the one that made him want to grin giddily, as he followed Harry.

The long grass brushed their legs as they walked, against bare legs and bare feet. When he looked behind, he noticed Ron, Hermione and Ginny in their wake – they were humming together a tune that he didn't recognize, but seemed to flow with the wind like a natural thing. Draco had the inexplicable urge to smile with them, to join their making of music.

When they came to the edge of a copse of trees, their footsteps became soft and wary. The little light that filtered from above in showed them a path of sorts, one they followed in single file. They stopped before a tall tree and gathered round it.

'Here he is,' Harry said. 'We've tried everything – but he doesn't change unless someone, a person like you, appears.'

Sitting against the tree was a man made of stone. His face was serene, his eyes closed, as if he were merely resting. He had a long beard that fell to his waist, and a long robe-like cloth around him. Draco crouched down next to him, and stared thoughtfully.

'Who is he?' Draco asked, looking up at the other four.

'Don't know,' Ron said promptly. 'He's the Stone Man, the Shadow-Taker. The name 'Merlin' comes to mind though, doesn't it?'

'Personally, I think it's more like 'Dumbledore',' Harry said, smiling. Hermione gave him an exasperated look.

'You just like that name because it's similar to bumble-bee. Harry, don't be silly.'

'I think it's cool,' Harry protested. He caved in a few seconds later, smiling with his hands raised in surrender, when he became the target of Hermione's glare. 'My guess is as good as any, right?'

Draco watched their bickering for a few moments longer, before cutting in, 'Why did he take our shadows?'

Four pairs of eyes fell on him. He resisted the urge to squirm.

'That,' Ginny started, 'is the enigma – our conundrum.' She suddenly giggled. 'Isn't that such a cool word? _Conundrum_. . .'

Ron rolled his eyes. 'Ginny,' he said warningly. She grinned up at him, then spun around in a circle, her long red hair spiraling out around her like strands of copper.

'Come on, let's go!' she exclaimed. 'The river awaits!'

xXx

Ron, Draco and Harry dragged the last of the logs to the river, to find the girls testing the strength of the vines they had chanced upon. Sweating under the heat of the mid-day sun, Draco sat down next to Harry on the sandy bank. On the edge of his vision, he saw Hermione directing and yelling orders as to how to build the raft – arguing loudly with Ron now and then over the placement of the logs.

The blond brought his gaze to the flowing water of the river. The water was not murky as such; it was clear but brown like water that is found on mountainsides. From Ginny's squeals and bouts of laughter, he knew the temperature was bitterly cold.

Draco glanced at Harry, taking the windswept hair, the beads of sweat sliding down the side of the boy's face, the relaxedness of his body, the looseness of his hands resting on his knees, and that small scrape on the top of a knuckle.

He shook his head, averting his gaze from those green eyes that were staring at him. Questions buzzed around in his head, and feelings that he didn't quite recognise swirled around in his gut. The silence they sat in was so pregnant and intense that Draco had to break it.

'We have no memories, but why were we left with these 'feelings'? With a sense of déjà-vu, of rightness and wrong?' Draco quickly asked. 'It makes no sense.'

Harry's expression turned thoughtful. 'In a way, it does make sense. . . The memories are gone, but the body experienced things that it can't forget – like how to walk, run and breathe. We can't lose our natural reactions, like the link between smiling and happiness.'

'But why do I have these feelings, these phantom memories, of my life before coming here?' Draco asked quietly, his hands bunching into fists in his lap. 'The details are gone, the clarity of the reasons are gone too. I feel like I'm treading water without a shore in sight.'

'I don't know, Draco,' Harry said, sadness echoing in his voice. 'It's like that for me too. For all of us. Even though I don't have any memories, I know I did something important, something I didn't like before coming here. Maybe I had my reasons for not remembering.' He smiled at Draco, his strange little smile. 'But even as I feel lost and empty – I have this feeling, deep inside, of who I am. That sense . . . it makes me what I am. It's the mark, the footprint left by our memories. It's an instinct of sorts.'

They sat in silence after that, listening to gurgle of the river and the swishing of the reeds in the wind. He closed his eyes, the chirping melodies of passing birds and chattering of insects surrounding him, soothing his mind. Draco nearly started when Harry chuckled at his side. He opened his eyes and gave the boy a questioning look.

'Oh, Ginny and Hermione always argue like that,' Harry said with a smile and a vague gesture of a hand. 'Over the same things. Just listen.'

Draco looked over at the half-finished raft to see a very bored-looking Ron in the shade of a tree and the two girls glaring at one another heatedly. Hermione's hair looked even bushier than before.

'Maybe there is a reason we lost our memories,' Ginny insisted. 'Maybe they were bad, hurtful. Maybe they would've broken us. Why would we need them then? We're happy here, right?'

'But our memories may hold the secret why we're here!' Hermione countered. 'If we had them, we'd know who we are!'

'So? Why do we need to know – truly _need_ to know who we are? To know a few words, a surname – petty labels? We are here, we are who we are _right now_.'

'The past makes us who we are.'

'Then let's live and collect a past together. Here we have freedom and happiness and each other. Do we need any more?'


	4. To Fall, With Rain

**( To Fall, With Rain )**

Draco looked down at the path, at the hardened, worn-in earth. He felt and heard the crunch of pebbles and soil under his dust-ridden feet. He ignored the dull, though sometimes sharp pain of the blisters and cracked skin along the underside of his feet, walking onwards up the hill. Like all things in this place, he had been told that he'd get used it – that his feet would toughen up soon enough.

Over days that he'd been in this place with no name, they had walked along every path that he had been shown. It amazed Draco sometimes, how each of the paths showed a part of their lives. One way, the widest of all, was to the river – to water that quenched their thirst and cleansed their bodies. The longest of paths lead to the garden up in the hills, where they collected their food. And the nearest, shortest path was to the fields, where they found grass for their bedding and floor. There were others - like to the forest for firewood and to the mountains, where they found bits of flint. Each path had a purpose.

When Draco walked along the paths, he imagined Ginny, all alone with no memories, walking blindly through the wilderness. It was in those times that Draco admired Ginny for the strength she possessed. He knew that he would not have had his sanity if he had been her. He would've gone mad, waiting and waiting for someone, anyone to appear. . .

But most of all, it was strange for Draco to know that he was dependant on the paths - and on the knowledge of others - for his survival. It irked him like nothing else did.

Well, maybe not as much as the strange feelings he felt when Harry was close. But he tried not to dwell on that.

For all the work they did, it was doubled by play. Ginny was unyielding when it came to recreation, even when Ron and Hermione tried, and argued, to convince her otherwise. She joked and bribed all of them into doing all manner of things. Her ideas of games had no end.

The one thing Ginny never stopped doing was telling them to do what they wanted – to do whatever 'tickled their fancy'. It was not often that anyone besides Ginny pushed an activity, but one evening, as they were shelling peas, Harry spoke up.

'It's going to be full moon tonight,' he said in a serious voice that caught everyone's attention. 'I feel like it's important, or at least _was_ important . . . thus we're going to watch it.'

And, because Ginny thought it was an amazing idea, they really had no choice in the matter. As Ginny bustled around making plans, Draco watched the others' faces. There was a reason they let her do what she wanted – she lost more of herself each day and even he had noticed. They knew, and they let her create herself all over again – to fill the empty spaces within.

xXx

The moon was a golden disk against the night sky. They stared up at it, on their backs on the field, laying next to one another in a row. The grass was prickly underneath them, and the air crisp and cold as they bathed in the moonlight. It was so bright that for a moment, as Draco had stepped outside, that he had been sure that the sun had not yet set.

'Look at that one!' Ginny exclaimed excitedly, pointing. 'Doesn't that cloud look like a face?'

'Nah, more like a squashed face,' Ron piped in thoughtfully. 'A pancake face.'

Hermione smacked him on the arm. 'It's a cloud, for heaven's sake. Not a face. Or any type of food.'

'Oi, she was the one to bring it up,' Ron said, a tinge of hurt in his voice. 'I was just adding to the conversation – smack her instead!'

'But you were the idiot to bring up pancakes,' she huffed in annoyance. 'Pancake faces, of all things.'

'If you're hungry, don't bring it out on me, 'Mione.'

'Idiot.'

Harry grinned. 'Hey, don't those clouds look like a bird?'

They all looked up at the moon, and past its brilliant glow, they saw a cloud just over it. From its shape it looked like the silhouette of a bird with its wings outspread in flight. As Harry stared at it, a sudden sense of awe and quiet swept over him. He wanted to stay still in the silence outside and within him – in this moment forever.

But he couldn't, and even as a soft sadness filled him, there was a gentle joy in the knowing that it would not last. That even if this memory of tonight slipped through his fingers like sand, he'd never lose this feeling.

Harry turned his head to the side, his cheek brushing small blades of grass and looked over at Draco. The boy was on his side, curled into himself, nearly asleep and very close. He could feel one of Draco's hands lightly touch his chest and arm.

Harry looked up at the moon again, just letting it all be.

xXx

When Draco awoke, the sun was peeking over the horizon. He felt the warm morning light on his skin and eyelids before he opened his eyes blearily. He was warm, and there were arms wrapped around his middle, and legs curled next his. Hot and hovering breath misted over his neck, sending shivers down his spine. Even though he had woken up in such a way for days already, it was different this time. The way Harry held him was tighter, closer, gentler. It was like he was fragile, a thing that could be broken.

Draco sighed, then began the slow process of prying himself from the embrace. Harry's grip tightened when he moved, and he grumbled into Draco's neck a few times, before he finally let him slip away. Draco sat at the boy's side, inspecting his clothing that was damp from dew. A quick hand through his hair revealed grass stuck in it.

He looked over at his side, and found three other shapes curled around each other for warmth on the grass of the field. After musing over their choice of resting place, he concluded that they had fallen asleep looking at the stars and moon. It was the last thing he remembered before closing his eyes.

A ray of light suddenly shone down on him, and he shielded his eyes for a moment, before peering over his hand to see the horizon aglow with orange and red. On the ground next to him, the dew droplets glistened and from above, the birds started their dawn songs. He took in a deep breath, then let it out.

'It's beautiful, isn't it?' Harry asked in a quiet voice as he sat down next to Draco. 'A new day.' He blew on his hands, rubbing them to get them warm.

'It is,' Draco murmured, holding onto the quiet. 'It's like a song that hasn't yet been sung.'

Harry looked up at the sky, frowning. 'It's going to rain.'

Draco smiled when he felt the first delicate patters of rain on his skin. He closed his eyes when it began to gain strength. He liked how the rain slipped over his skin, like the trailing touch of cold fingertips. A warm hand took his own.

'Let's fly away,' Harry whispered, very close. 'Let's sing that song that hasn't yet been sung.'

They got to their feet and ran across the field, right behind one another. They stopped near the cover of a tree, but stood in the rain, laughing. They shook their heads, spirals of droplets flying off their hair. They danced, hands clasped together, soaked to the bone. They spun around in circles, letting their laughter entwine into one, into one song.

Finally, breathlessly, they stumbled under the cover of the tree. Draco stood still, his cold feet pressed down against fallen pine needles, his head tilted backwards. He smelt the freshness of the earth that the rain had brought, pulling it into his lungs, intoxicating his senses.

Slowly, he lowered his head and looked over at Harry. The boy was leaning against the tree trunk, his wet clothes clinging to his body and his cheeks flushed from cold. But there was a bright light in those wide green eyes that Draco couldn't look away from. It was alive, overwhelmingly so. He felt like a moth to a flame.

'I think I loved you before, when I had a shadow,' Draco said softly. His heart was pounding madly. He couldn't look away, not from those eyes.

'Why do you think that?'

'Just a feeling. A familiarity.'

Harry frowned. 'I think I hated you before.'

There was no malice in the boy's voice, but the words still felt like a physical blow to Draco.

Harry shook his head, and said with a wry smile, 'No. Not hate, just intense dislike.'

Draco couldn't help the chuckle that left him. 'I wonder why,' he whispered, a little tiredly, a little bitter.

Harry smiled. 'But I like you now, don't worry.'

Draco gave him a weak, little smile. 'That's a relief,' he said dryly, wanting to laugh, cry and scream.

The dark-haired boy tilted his head to the side, watching him. 'It's not quite love though,' he said, his tone almost apologetic and sad.

'I know.'

The sound of rain and their breaths, coming out in hot steam, filled the space of words. Draco counted his breaths, trying to ignore the trembling of his hands. In that moment, he wanted to be the rain – to fly through the skies, to fall into the warm earth, only to be swept up with the wind and into the bright blue sky.

Hot tears brimmed and fell down his cheeks. He let out a choked sob, curling into himself. The trembling spread to all over his body when he felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around him from behind.

'I don't want to forget this,' Draco whispered. 'Even if it hurts.'


	5. Closer

**( Closer )**

His hand was warm. And as Draco balanced on a branch high up in a tree, it was the only thing stopping him from falling. Draco smiled, his legs trembling under him, as he flung his head back and looked up at the stars through a gap in the leaves. Harry's hand tightened around Draco's.

'Isn't it great?' the green-eyed boy asked, a little breathlessly.

'It's _beautiful_,' Draco said softly. He reached out to the night sky, his eyes wide in wonder. 'They seem so close. Like you can almost touch them.'

His fingers curled into his palm. Standing there, on this utterly moonless night that belonged to the stars, he wanted to gather galaxies and planets into his grasp. To cradle them in his arms. He wanted to pick stars out of the sky one by one and show the world their beauty.

And most of all, he didn't want to let go of Harry's hand.

A small tug of fingertips pulled the blond away from his musing and brought his gaze to the boy at the tree's trunk. For a moment, as they stared at one another, Draco thought of another time – when the dawn had come and it had rained. To a moment when he had been weightless in love, and so _sure_ as he spoke those words that had been said. But what was left was an ache, a sense of longing whenever he saw those eyes and that painfully beautiful smile.

'Come, let's go higher,' Harry whispered into the night. Draco nodded and turned, holding tightly onto that hand, a little terrified that he trusted this boy so much. It took a few steps, one after the other, to get to the trunk. Harry pulled him close, an arm around his waist, as there wasn't much space to stand and to put their feet. Draco wanted to curl into the warmth of Harry's chest, but stopped himself, shaking slightly.

As Harry lifted himself up onto a higher branch, Draco watched him. Sometimes, when hope left him and he was alone with the sadness, he thought Harry had forgotten. That whatever was placed upon them had taken the memory of that dawn away from him. He looked down, gulping down the feeling of rising tears.

'Hey,' a voice from above called softly. Draco looked up at Harry's concerned face. 'Are you all right, Dray?'

Draco smiled sadly, then closed his eyes, chuckling lightly. With the back of a hand, he rubbed a few rogue tears away. Hope, it was never far behind the sadness.

'I'm okay,' Draco replied, grabbing onto a small protruding branch for leverage. 'Let's go find those stars. I want to show you Orion and Sirius.'

Harry searched Draco's face for a moment, before smiling too. He rolled his eyes, looking back up. 'You and your silly star formations.'

Draco laughed, climbing up past him. 'The last one to the top is a rotten egg!'

Harry's smile widened into a grin. 'Ha, you're _so_ on!'

xXx

The ground was covered in leaves, the new and the old, pressed into the soggy soil by many feet. A small breeze ruffled Draco's hair as he sat with his legs stretched out and his palms resting on the ground behind him. The air was fresh, full of the smell of springy soil and river sand. Draco took in a long, deep breath, staring up at the patches of blue sky between the layers of leaves. The branches, with their load of dark-green leaves, swayed slightly, chattering with the wind.

Draco closed his eyes and listened. Down river, he could hear Hermione and Ginny arguing over the captaincy of the now-completed raft, before Ron laughed and splashed them, resulting in squeals and giggles. The blond boy relaxed his body, letting his breaths flow into one another like a stream into a river, listening all the while. The river gurgled and rushed, while reeds swayed and whispered together. He could hear the birds in the tree above singing and chirping as they weaved their hanging nests.

He opened his eyes and smiled. For every day that passed in this place, he felt his whole self settle into its rhythm. And sometimes, tiny whispering thoughts in his head dared to call it _home._

Dry leaves crackled under a footfall. Draco looked over his shoulder and his smile widened.

'Coming to break my peace and quiet?' Draco asked in amusement. He sat up, and dusted his hands off, his legs crossed beneath him.

Harry shook his head with a smile.

'Joining me then?'

'For a little while,' Harry said, looking over at the river with a fond look. 'Till Hermione has calmed down. And stopped chasing Ron.'

Draco laughed, patting the ground at his side welcomingly. 'Safe haven then. The trees will keep us safe, don't you worry.'

'And if they don't, you would, won't you?' Harry asked, sitting down.

Draco gave him an affronted look. 'Of course. But if she offers to make me the captain of the raft, I may reconsider . . .'

Harry grinned and playfully smacked him on the shoulder. 'Idiot.'

'I resent that,' Draco said with a mock frown. 'I can be silly, but never an idiot.'

Harry rolled his eyes. 'Okay, a silly not-idiot then.'

Draco chuckled, looking back up at the birds and their nests. They sat like that, in silence. It was comfortable, gentle in a way. The world moved around them, pulling them with its flow and soothing their minds as it went along. There was no sense of urgency, no clock to check and follow.

Out of the corner of his eye, Draco looked down at the space between them. Their hands were so close. He could feel his hand tremble as he inched it closer, till he touched skin. Draco gave Harry a side-long glance, and saw that they boy was still looking at the river. Then, slowly, he felt Harry's fingers curl around his own.

Both of them smiled, not looking at one another.

Draco held Harry's hand, liking the soft warmth. They said nothing, and slowly, Draco started to trail his thumb along Harry's palm. When he ran his fingertips over the back of Harry's hand, he paused when he felt a line of small scars. He followed their shape, then realised they were words.

He frowned, then lifted Harry's hand onto his knee. He inspected the faint scars as he felt the weight of Harry's gaze on him.

'I must not tell lies?' he said, looking up at Harry. He trailed circles over the skin of Harry's wrist soothingly.

Harry shrugged a shoulder. 'It's from before.'

Draco nodded, then smiled at the boy. He gained a smile in return, as they stared at one another. He could feel his heart beat in his chest, the blood in his veins move.

'Do you remember?' Draco asked quietly, and knew from one look that Harry knew he wasn't asking about the scars.

Harry squeezed his hand tighter for a moment, then slipped it out of Draco's grasp. He stared down at the ground, his smile a sad one.

'I do.'

xXx

The fire flickered and danced with the crackling of burning wood. Draco watched glowing red heat emanate from the embers, so intense next to the darkness of the night. He kicked his feet up to warm them, curling his toes so he didn't have to see how dirty they were. He outstretched his hands, fingers spread wide, as he put them closer to the fire. The nights were cold, especially with the wind that howled and thrashed. But even with the small breeze that sometimes sprung up, the sky was cloudless and a chill had set in that night. When no one spoke, it seemed like the world had become heavy with stillness and silence.

It was like even nature was asleep.

Draco rubbed his hands and blew on them to get them warm. Across from him, he watched as Ron picked up a sleeping Ginny, resting her head on his shoulder with a fond look. Hermione was fretting over the remains of their supper, while trying to convince Harry to return with them, back to their home.

'What about you, Draco?' Hermione asked suddenly, turning to the blond. Draco blinked, then shook his head.

'I'm going to stay for a little while longer,' he answered, giving her a reassuring smile. 'Got to warm up a bit more.'

'Well, okay, if you guys are sure . . .'

'We are, 'Mione. Don't worry,' Harry said. 'Go make sure that Ron and Gin aren't faking it so they can go skinny dipping in the river again.'

Hermione laughed, and ruffled Harry's already messy hair. 'See you later then.' She ran down the hill, along the narrow path, to catch up with Ron.

Draco turned back to look at the fire. He could feel himself tremble, not just because of the cold, but from the feeling of loneliness that suddenly befell him. He didn't feel like talking. The ache in his chest hurt.

He could feel Harry staring at him.

Draco's head jerked up when he heard movement and saw Harry get up to stand. He couldn't look away from the boy across from him, through tongues of smoke and flame. He stared as Harry opened his arms wide, his head tilted back and eyes closed.

Then he started to move – to _dance_.

Draco watched, at the boy's body as it swayed, flowed and spun. He moved his whole body, his hips, his head, his arms and hands. The dance changed from one moment to the next – fleeting, swift, then slow. Harry moved without a care, with such contained energy and grace. For a second, it seemed to Draco that Harry was not human, but a bird flying through the sky.

'What are you doing?' Draco whispered, hugging his knees.

Harry opened his eyes. 'I'm dancing.'

'Why?'

'Because I can.' Harry offered him a hand. 'Join me?'

Draco stared at the hand, then, with a shaking one of his own, he took it. He was pulled up into Harry's arms.

'Follow my lead,' Harry whispered into his ear. 'Let's forget about the world.'

Then they were touching - hands, hips, waists, skin. They moved against and with one another, next to the fading flames, under the stars, and with the breeze that passed them by. Draco let his thoughts go and followed his body, and Harry's, his mind singing in the silence with his thundering blood. He rode his fear, and every little emotion that he had, till their end. He _felt_ them, let them finish and he was left with a deep contentment that resonated.

When the dance slowed, till they were simply holding each other, they rested their foreheads against one another's. They could feel each other's breath on their skin. As their breathing calmed, they looked at one another and smiled.

'I want you,' Draco said softly.

'I know, but you'll never have me completely. Only a side of me, out of the many.'

Draco leaned in close, his lips a breath away, and smiled.

'Then I'll collect the sides of you I can.'


	6. Epilogue

**( Epilogue )**

Harry stared down at the sleeping man at his side. Long blond hair hung over a shoulder and splayed out about his head like a halo on their grass bedding. Harry played with a few pale strands, smiling as he watched Draco breath evenly, his face calm and relaxed. He leaned down and kissed him on the neck, letting his lips linger there. Draco shifted a little, then curled into himself with a sigh.

He trailed a fingertip down the side of Draco's face, before leaning away. He quietly got to his feet and walked across the room to the entrance. Harry looked over his shoulder, bit his lip and worried at it. A large part of him wanted to fell asleep next to Draco again, to curl up against him and to take in that smell that he so lost himself in. But another part needed to get out, to see the new day dawn over the fields and bring with it such promise.

The side of his mouth curled upwards. The way Draco slept would ensure that he could do both. _Lazy sleepy-head_, he thought fondly as he made his way out of their home.

The grass crunched under his feet as he walked up the side of the hill. Sometimes, when the he wanted to feel the world under his feet, he strayed from the paths and ran through the fields and forests, never stopping, always going.

Harry looked up, and up on the crest of the hill, he saw a silhouetted shape. As he came closer, he recognised Ginny's long red hair that fell all the way down her back. In the warm light of dawn, her hair seemed darker, more intense than before. Almost like the sun, Harry mused as he sat down beside her.

'Finally managed to drag yourself away from your lover-boy, eh?' she asked after a moment of silence. He looked up at her, to see her playful grin.

'It was awfully difficult.'

'I can imagine.'

Harry chuckled, bringing his knees closer to his chest. He watched as shades of red and orange stained the horizon, brushed the tops of the far-away clouds and stretched across the land below.

'Gin, where are we?'

She gave him a side-long glance, a small frown on her face. 'What are you talking about, Harry? We've always been here.'

'We have?'

Ginny bended down, cupped his cheek with a hand and kissed him on his forehead gently. When she leaned back, she gave him a brilliant smile and said, 'Of course, you silly.'

Harry looked out at world before him and smiled.

'Yeah, you're right.'


End file.
